A lot has changed in the last month... a lot. For starters, I'm not an unemployed, slightly crazed graduate student. I've been hired.. full time... by the project. I know! I could hardly believe it either... but it's the TRUTH. I was hired to open an office right here in Fargo-Moorhead focused on getting some constituent activity up and running here in the Red River Valley. It's pretty exciting stuff, if I do say so myself. I started at the beginning of the month and so far so good. Things are coming together and we're putting together the necessary plans to ensure that we're doing things the right way. I'm also working to schedule Patrick's fall speaking tour... which means I've been doing lots of google searches and mapquest examining to get a better idea of routing options for him. Which also means, If you know of somewhere that would be interested in having him speak, we ask that you are able to cover the cost of getting him there. Any more that you are able to provide is wonderful and will go directly toward victims of human trafficking... but that's a whole other story. Let's suffice it to say that things have been great and while I'm still working to figure things out, I feel blessed to have the opportunity to work with an organization I've grown to love and respect. I'm sure there will be more updates about this in the near future.. but there are other things to discuss.
On a whole other front... I'm taking hunter's safety. Again, you read that correctly. It's WAY more difficult than any one lets on and if someone passed the test when they were 12 they are not qualified to discuss the difficulty of the course with someone who has held a gun only twice in their life (me). There is so much technical jargon and the night of the hands-on practicing scared the living daylights out of me thanks to the instructor, Peggy, who seemed to have it out for me. She was not into explaining to me how the lever gun hammer half cock safety functioned. She just let me fail repeatedly... and when I say repeatedly... I mean repeatedly. I will be sure to alert you all of my successes and/or failures when the test is completed on the 26th of july. Cross your figers that I am able to accomplish this mighty task at hand. It is already 10:30 and I must be getting to bed. Michael nudged me into signing up for a half marathon in Detroit Lakes in September... and that means that I must rise at the crack of dawn to ensure that I make it to the gym in time to run the necessary number of miles to prepare me for the race. Wish us luck and I'll try to be back soon! Today I moved one step closer toward permanently marking this chapter of my life. I called and requested an appointment with my tattoo artist. It's gonna be a big piece.... really big... as in, my entire back... but, it's a piece that I couldn't be more proud to get. A lot went into the design of it, and the time is right to have it etched into my life. So, by now you may be perplexed and wondering what could possibly be amazing enough to give my entire back... well, believe it or not, you're already looking at it.... this picture, right here ------>
So, an explanation of all of its components are probably in line. So, for starters, the tree. I simply can't get enough of these trees. They are everywhere in Guatemala.... they are called ficus trees and while we have them in the states, they can only be found in malls and inside buildings. In guatemala, they grow all over and while they are intended to be manicured and flat on top, I preferred the cute little bushy ones that have been slightly neglected for some time. On the walk to the dreamer center in guatemala, there are a row of these adorable little trees. Every day, we walk past them, and every day I fell in love with them more and more. The heart etched into the trunk ties this tattoo in with my owl on my upper arm. It's a deep love for what it is that the tattoo, itself is symbolzing... which, collectively is this journey I've been on for the last 3 years. The next key component of the tattoo is the Quetzal bird. It's the national bird of guatemala and super rare. Only one person I've talked to has ever seen one.... but, this symbol holds so much historical context. I had originally thought of just getting the Quetzal, but the army used the Quetzal bird as their symbol during the civil war and that's not something I was willing to support with a full back piece. The quetzal is also the name of the currency in guatemala.... which is significant in all that it represents... and lastly, the way that the bird is perched so stoically is key... the people of guatemala are a proud people and I celebrate that. I think of Leidy and her proud eyes after the program that was put on at the center. Pride is something that the indigenous people of guatemala have somehow been able to retain through all the corruption and instability within their political systems. Lastly, the flowers at the base. These are symbolic of my support systems. Those of you who have been by my side during this immense stage of growing have been incredible. Thank you. You know who you are. I appreciate you and all you do... I couldn't have done all that I've been able to accomplish without you. Collectively, this piece summarizes the journey I've been on for the last three years. It's been amazing and transforming and inspiring. I can only hope that the rest of my years are as incredible as these have been... This piece of incredible art will inspire and remind me to do the things that I didn't think were possible. And one last thing, to Chip Boles, thank you for designing this piece of work... I am so excited to add it to my canvas.... you're amazing! to begin to tell the story of the last journey to guatemala. it's taken weeks (literally) to come to a place where I feel like I am ready to digest everything that has occurred in the year since my last trip to Guatemala. A lot has happened... a lot. And for me, this recent experience was about much more than 12 days in Antigua; it was a culmination of a number of personal commitments and events coming to a close. This last segment of those experiences was capped off while I was in Guatemala, but what was going on inside my head, and ultimately what I've been working to unravel since returning home is about hundreds of hours spent staring straight ahead into the unknown while training for a marathon, about closing the book on a graduate school experience that has completely changed my life, it is about completing a full marathon when only 2 years ago I couldn't run a single mile, it is about knowing that I don't have a return flight scheduled to guatemala, about coming to terms with the fact that I may never have the opportunity to co-teach a group of students for a semester and then bring them on the ride of their lives, it is about knowing that three entire families will no longer be sleeping on the ground or wondering where they will find their next rent check because through the generous support and grace of others, we were able to purchase a quaint piece of land for them to call "their own." For me, as we departed from the states, I knew that my time in Guatemala would be the beginning of an end. And since my return, it's become ever-so-apparent that I was correct. Bear with me as I stumble through the ups and downs of my time in Guatemala that pulled together so much of what my life has consisted of for the last 3 years. It's been about advocacy, grace, life, education, passion, determination, persistence, creativity, exploration, and of course.... activism. Prior to enrolling in graduate school, I was just another student that got decent grades and believed I'd work a public relations stint and do everything in my power to make money. Now, nearly 3 1/2 years later, what my purpose in life is couldn't be further from that idea. I've evolved and transformed; what keeps me moving forward every day is knowing that I have the ability to exchange grace, compassion, empathy and love with others in this world and while it's overwhelming and often seems impossible, I remind myself that change still occurs even if it is one individual person at a time. I've talked about this before, but I know that my sponsor child, Leidy, counts on me just as much as I rely on her... and through that exchange, we've both learned about possibilities that the world has to offer when one makes themself vulnerable. It's not easy, but I can't tell you how grateful I am for the experiences I've had that have shown my that it's not about what I can give to others... while that's a part of it, it's about accumulating life experiences that teach me about who I am so that I am able to do the best job possible at connecting with people and exchanging perspectives on the world. I'm itching to tell a story, and it actually has everything to do with Leidy, my sponsor child. When our group first arrived at the Dreamer Center, it felt like I'd come back to visit a long-lost friend. I know that everyone says it, but there is something about that place that draws you in and makes your senses explode... returning there is overwhelming and can only be described by putting a smile on your face that spans from ear to ear. While I was taking in, and recognizing the increases in the foliage around me, my pal Victor darted by me (Victor never stands still or in one place for more than a minute... I'm not exaggerating when I say that this man is constantly on the move....) he's been integral in keeping me afloat on what's going on in Leidy's life and has even given me the opportunity to skype with her a few times. He knew I was itching to see her and offered up the information that she was having her breakfast in the dining hall. I grabbed my Guatemalan roomate, Lauren (who is fluent) and headed to find Leidy. I was unsure if she would remember me, as it had been a year since I'd seen her last.... but, much to my surprise, Lauren pointed out that there was a little girl waving her arms crazily on the other side of the room. The second I made eye contact with Leidy she ran full speed across the room with a giant smile on her face to greet me. I couldn't have been more happy to see her little face and we stood there as she hugged me for at least a few minutes. I had been proven wrong.. incredibly wrong... she most definitely remembered who I was and what I looked like... and I was so excited to know that. Later the next day we had a bit of down time and I was sitting out by the all-purpose complex/stage watching some students perform a spanish version of "itsy bitsy spider." I was reading some student journals and taking in all that was around me when out of the blue Leidy came whipping around the corner with something in her hand. She had brought the holiday card that my husband and I sent her in December. She showed me how happy she was that she had it with her... and I must add that she was wearing the Bano pass at the time, which means that she was supposed to be using the bathroom, but instead was sitting with me and giving me hugs and smiles. It was adorable and something I will treasure for many years to come. But, the story that I wanted to tell occurred later in our stay. One day we had time scheduled on our itinerary to spend the morning at the Dreamer Center with the children. It's rare that time is actually scheduled to be there, it often occurs on a whim when some kind of plan falls through or there happens to be spare time... it's not something that is typically planned out, so I was curious as to why this was happening... but Victor knows how much I love spending time with the kids so I thought perhaps he had just given in and provided some time to spend with the kids. When the day arrived, our group got split into pairs (and one group of 3) and we headed into the classrooms to work with kids on crafts projects. We quickly learned that they were preparing for a program that they had scheduled later for that afternoon. Being that I was in the classroom with sixth graders, they weren't too overly excited and didn't provide many additional details... which in retrospect made the following events that much more surprising. Once we were completed with our crafts, we were told that we should head down to the dining area because the kids were going to perform their skits. We were SUPER excited that we were going to get to see all of their hard work put into action and I can't even express how eager I was to see all their little faces as they sang, danced and presented their piece of the program. We sat in enjoyment and awe as the kids started the show. As the children continued with the program, I decided that I needed to move to the back of the room so that I could take in the full experience and be by myself for a bit. I went to the back of the room and sat on the brick wall. I was correct in my new seating location. I could see everything and really enjoyed all of the smiles that were being exchanged between the students from NDSU and the kids in the project. As I was sitting there, Victor darted around the corner and asked me, "Do you know why they're doing all this yet?" I looked back at him and said, " No, I have no idea, what's going on?" His cell phone started to ring, but he managed to get out, "This is all for you; they're doing this for you." And as soon as he'd appeared, he was gone. I was stunned. I had no idea that this ENTIRE program was in appreciation for the funds and awareness that had been raised through the marathon project. Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't think that each individual child knew exactly what was going on in this situation, but I did know that someone in the project had to organize all of this for it to happen. I later found out that Patrick, the founder of the entire project, had requested that this program take place. As I sat on the brick wall and began to process what Victor had just told me, I was overwhelmed. I still can't quite believe that it took place, and I know that words can't do justice to convey the impact that it had on me. The mere utterance of "thank you" simply doesn't seem like enough. As the children finished their last performance, I was called to the front of the room and presented with thank you cards from each classroom of children. It was incredible and amazing and overwhelming. as I think back to the moment, I remember seeing the look in Leidy's eyes. She was proud. She was proud that I was her madrina and that she belonged to me and vice versa. Those eyes and that look will never be forgotten. After the photos, we headed outside to finish the celebration with 3 pinatas. The children loved it and I couldn't have imagined a better way to close an amazing afternoon. To everyone in Antigua, THANK YOU... your kindness has not gone unnoticed, to Patrick... words can't express how much I appreciate this and to each and every one of you who contributed to this marathon project... these cards, hugs, and smiles are just as much for you as they are for me.... THANK YOU... you're changing lives.
the last weeks have been difficult... mentally and emotionally. I'm pretty sure there should be some sort of documented jet leg associated with catastrophic events that occur so shortly after one leaves... I guess severe cognitive dissonance is one way of describing it. I have hundreds of stories I am dying to get out, I just can't find the words quite yet to give them justice and to move on from all that I've been working to process. I know that right now my heart and mind are reeling from what has happened and continues to happen. for now, I want some photos to do the talking. I normally don't do this... but I"m going to show some photos before I share the words. enjoy.
The days after we left guatemala have been filled with nothing but disaster. please consider spreading the word of all the incredible work that nuestros ahijados is doing in the face of a volcanic eruption and tropical storm agatha. Here are a few photos of the devastation: If you're not familiar with the project... please see the short video below that details some of the components of the services offered. I have so many stories that I need to catch up on and discuss on this blog, but my heart and mind are in shock due to all the facets of devastation that continue to wage on. Please keep all the children, families and employees of the project in you heart and mind.... They need all the love you can give them. If you're able to contribute financially, please contact me at [email protected] I'm too exhausted to elaborate... but this trip was incredible. it was harder and more difficult than I could have ever imagined... bu
That's correct... you read that... I finished my first marathon in four hours 32 minutes. It was harder than I could have ever imagined and yet when I think about it, it seemed to last only a short while. My brother and I started out strong and were on track to finish in just around four hours... until I hit mile 20 and he hit mile 23... that's when things got tough. I was in so much pain I couldn't fathom propelling my body and further forward... but after 2 extra strength tylenol and some sugar-coated orange slices I was back on my way toward the finish line. We ran through sunshine, wind, and snow pellets; my hands went numb, yet I still got tan lines on my legs... This journey was momentous for me and I know that I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you all so very much for your continued support and thoughts. The land has been purchased for the homes in Guatemala and if you've pledged an amount, it would be wonderful if you'd follow these easy directions on how to submit your donation:
Make out your check to "The God's Child Project" and mail it to me at 1857 Huntington Court West Fargo, ND 58078 I leave for guatemala in one week and would love to have all the funds collected by that time. Know that together, we're going to assist in providing three families with a safe and warm place to rest their heads at night. If you're still willing to pledge an amount, I'd so much appreciate your generosity! Again, thank you so much for your support... I can't imagine having done this without you... and now, some photos :) Clearly, I haven't updated the blog in FOREVER. I guess it seems to me that because I'm on the downhill slide things become a lot less interesting.. perhaps that's not true, however. There are a lot of other things going on that make this a very interesting time of my life. For starters, I'm not going to be a graduate student any more very soon. I mean, I still have to finish up my thesis, but I will no longer be a graduate assistant, and for my graduate career that has been my "muse" for education and learning. I've garnered so much incredible experience through that job that it's tough to think about leaving this phase of life behind. It hurts my heart, actually. Things are going to be different as an employee and not a student. I'm not ready to have to remove piercings and cover tattoos. Stay tuned for the continuing progress of job searching. There are a couple potential options at this point, but nonetheless I'm still saddened by the idea of not being a student any more.
But, this journey has been a good one. For many of you, you may not know that the first time I went to Guatemala back in 2008 I was nearly 4o pounds heavier. Running has been a part of my regiment of getting myself back into a healthy state. The first year of graduate school was stressful and difficult and I walked away from that first year significantly heavier than when I started. The last two years have been a discovery of balancing and pushing myself to new limits- both physically and mentally. So, the culmination of both the marathon and school are an interesting intersection. I couldn't be more excited to go back to Guatemala and to run the marathon, but at the same time, my heart is sad to have to leave this incredibly momentous and memorable phase of life behind. Here's the photo from the first year I went to Guatemala back in 2008... I've grown in more ways than I can describe since this photo was taken. I'm excited to have another airport photo to add to my collection. Cheers to a fulfilling education and journey. |